Mouth cancer

Just introducing myself.

My husband who is 56 years old was diagnosed with metastatic cancer of the tongue at the end of October. The secondary growths (both sides of the neck) were identified first. Fortunately that seems to be where the spread has stopped for now, but there was a node in his chest which is being kept a close eye on. We have 11 (nearly 12 year old) twin girls (non identical) and an almost 8 year old son. Our son and one of the twins have been diagnosed (also in the past 12 months) with ASD (level 2). So my life currently is a blur of specialists, therapists, and dealings with various government agencies. I also volunteer for my local multiple birth organisation and I work as a midwife.

Overall, while the initial feelings of shock have faded, we are both still in a state of disbelief that this has happened to us. My husband was a smoker but quit 25 years ago. He's always looked after his teeth and he's never been a heavy drinker (all the risk factors that were mentioned). He commenced chemotherapy on the 16th December and to date he has had 3 hospital admissions as he is just not coping physically. After his first round he ended up with neutropaenic colitis and was in hospital for 5 days which included Christmas Day. This has been the absolute hardest thing for all of us to deal with.

We are also in school holidays , and while the kids are being pretty good, it is also pretty sucky spending your whole holidays being dragged from pillar to post while mum and dad go to all the appointments. Any tips? Will be grateful to hear from anybody.